Even celebrities who consistently win “world’s most beautiful person” or “world’s sexiest woman” surveys sometimes experience low self-esteem, or at least claim to have experienced it — which always freaks us out who aren’t celebrities and survey-winners. One of the latest to make such claims is supermodel Kate Upton, who told Elle magazine that she experienced self-loathing after her image appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated.

What? How??

“After my first Sports Illustrated cover, I felt terrible about myself for a solid month,” [the] cover girl reveals. “Every single guy I met was either married or about to be married, and I felt like I was their bachelor present or something.” …

“I’m not a toy, I’m a human. I’m not here to be used. I am a grown woman, and you need to figure your sh-t out.” Even in professional settings, Upton says she’s treated like a stereotypical “dumb blonde.”

Then again, she kind of contradicted the I-felt-terrible-about-myself message by saying, in the same interview:

“People deal with models like they are children. They think they can pull one over on you. It’s actually funny,” says the model, who covered the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue a second time in 2013. “I’m always like, ‘I’m about to pull something on you, and you’re so focused on thinking I’m dumb you’re not even going to know.’”

Not that I want her to feel terrible about herself. I don’t. But Kate, keep your story straight.